Snippets

I'm currently having what we charitably refer to as "kaleidoscope brain" chez Fishwife - mostly down to a weekend of slow but steady alcohol intake, and the fact that due to snow, cancellations and lunches I ended up working 2 and a half days last week (result!!!). I therefore have no coherent idea for a single and on-topic post and can only offer you a small selection of things that have stuck in what passes for my mind over the last few days.

1) I had lunch on Saturday with my parents; they were passing through West London to see a newly-adapted indie-thrash musical version of Wedekind's 1906 play Spring Awakening at the Lyric. My stepfather, musing, over a pub lunch: "Well, it'll be interesting to see how they fit the competitive masturbation scene to music..."

2) Overheard by my cousin in (of course) Islington: "Mummy! I've got pesto on my gilet!"

3) Hurrah for the return of the rat! Many of you may argue it has never been away and in fact is more with us than ever. I say every culture gets the vermin it deserves, and given the extraordinary stupidity of most popular culture (etc) these days, thank God at least we value brains and adaptability in our animal infestations. I know I've said this before (and will say it again, and no doubt again) but rats are highly intelligent and resourceful, they are loving and protective parents, and wash food before they eat it (where possible). Also they build separate latrine areas in their nests so food and sleeping areas are never contaminated. How unlike most celebrities.

This, you see, is the problem with the weekday lunch. Any more than a glass of wine in the middle of the day and I suddenly lose all ability to follow a train of thought, at least any one that doesn't go STARTER - WINE - MAIN COURSE - WINE - COFFEE - BRANDY - BRANDY - BRANDY - FAGS - INEVITABLE FLU FROM SMOKING OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW. Just had lunch with my friend Nicky Nicky Veronica Veronica, who is the nearest thing to me it's possible to get apart from being a few years older and a Virgo, and after half a glass of wine I had forgotten I had to go back to work. Luckily I remembered, and if my boss is reading this I'd like to say that I'm actually blogging in my tea break.
Best stop now...

Oh but PS - if there's another blog out there that manages to mention pesto and Wedekind in the same post, I'm very surprised...

Catch yourself on, love.

Oh the joys of "observational humour" - not. This morning I went to get my usual bucket of coffee at a nasty chain that shall remain nameless but who does, in their defence, make really good basic filter coffee. FIRST OFF there was a dog and a garish pink scooter, both unashamedly parked directly across the door. Not, I grant you, the dog's fault, so I climbed over both and went in. THEN there were four women debating at some length whether to have a venti penti cappufrappuccino each, or one between two, or a smaller size - in that kind of way where they block your access to the till without actually making use of it themselves. THEN as I left, armed with my very small filter coffee (I am frankly incapable of saying "venti" since it's just made-up coffee esperanto, and "grande" doesn't seem to mean large, it means small, apparently), one of the aforementioned women raced out, having spotted the traffic warden bearing down on her Porsche Cayenne, and screamed operatically at the top of her voice "OH PLEASE GOD NO DON'T!!! PLEEEEASE!!!!!", in the tragic, quavering, tones of Desdemona pleading for her life. The single most histrionic display I've been an unwilling witness to, and the fact that she was parked on a double yellow line with her hazards flashing added to the incongruity of the whole thing.
But why, after all, comment, when this kind of thing goes on all the time everywhere? There are quite often mornings when I don't want to tap someone on the shoulder and say "Is this your sense of proportion, you left it behind in the coffee shop" although it depends whether they've got between me and my coffee.