Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Punters.

The wonderful world of the non sequitur (an occasional series)
And this is only in the last 4 days...
-"Would you like a bag?" - "No thanks, I'm paying by card"
-"No, it wasn't a hardback, it was orange."
-"I'd love that card in the window with the kitten." - "What, this one?" - "Yes, the one with the frog."
-"It was by that Japanese author - oh, I know, Martin Amis."
And my personal favourite, heard on a tannoy in a russian accent on Eurovision Day, appropriately enough... "There is good service running on all London Underground line. District is good, Piccadilly is good. For detail of essential work over Bank Holiday Weekend, please to inspect the poofters on display at the station entrance".
OK, I know, not a non-seq, unless London Underground actually does have an exhibition of homosexual gentlemen in selected ticket halls (and why not? Ours are the finest in Europe!) but my best recent Freudian mis-hearing.

7 comments:

Vicus Scurra said...

When in London I make a point of not listening to anyone. There is a sufficient majority of the deeply disturbed among the population to make taking note of their ramblings potentially damaging.

Brother Tobias said...

These are very funny - keep your ears peeled and let us have some more anon, please.

mantua maker said...

A non-seq. but still: the other day looking through a DVD catalogue, I finally found one I've been looking for for ages, Reilly Ace of Spies - in the section called "Comedy Classics" . I really enjoyed watching it years ago but don't remember it being exactly a bag of laughs.

lucyfishwife said...

VS - my early secret service training renders me incapable of tuning out any and all potential threats to my safety. Even the slightest rustle may betray an enemy agent lurking. I ignore it at my peril.
BT - It's been a quiet week! I may end up with more Freud than non-seq at this rate...
MM - When I worked in the *cough*big chain*cough we had to put descriptive labels on the shelves to show customers what they were looking at (patronising? Surely not!) - so I put the kids' label that said "Books with flaps" on our very small shelf of Erotica. Made me laugh, anyway. I made my own fun in them days.

Reluctant Blogger said...

haha very funny indeed.

My sons often make me laugh with non-sequiturs at dinner but I can't think of a single one now. I'll try to keep a record from now on.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I once met a madwoman convinced that MFI were following her.

And had a male friend whose mother upon bumping into him on the landing twixt bedroom & bathroom one morning exclaimed 'Ooh, you're well-endured! Just like your father!'

Or are these malapropisms? I get easily confused.

Steve said...

Love the poofters one... took me a while to work out they meant "posters"...