Oh calm down, I don't mean "Life Is Very Serious" or anything like that. Just that since I haven't written anything for ages I felt I had to break the back of it at some point, and I have nothing amusing to frilly it up with. This will be one of those po-faced and humourless blog entries that should have been written by a 17 year old boy striving to understand the mundanity of life, followed by discovering the Nietzschean darkness of his tormented soul, before going crazy with a paintball gun in the local dry-cleaner's (that's the PG version).
I apologise if any of you are 17 year old boys. If you are, my goodness have you subscribed to the wrong blog feed. All the hot teenage wannabe-Goth chicks are on MySpace, and anyway they fancy Robert Pattinson (really no idea why, I'm with you on that one).
So here's the problem - I used to write this because it made me snigger in a frankly immature way. I am now my own worst critic; every time I start a blog entry I find my lip curling in what practised writers refer to as the "Sarcastic Bystander" way. The hint, apparently, to avoid taking yourself too seriously, is to imagine everything you write being read aloud by a sarcastic bystander: "Lolita, my light, my life, my sin, my soul... seriously Vlad, you fancy yourself a bit with the poncey alliteration, don't you?"
ANYway. Upshot is I have decided not to be such a prat about blogging. I will do this more often. Even if I sneer at myself as I do it. Possibly I will (in the manner of Stella Gibbons putting asterisks next to the prose passages she was most proud of in Cold Comfort Farm) highlight selected blog entries with "well, it made me laugh, anyway". Or just do a David Sedaris and actually be funny...
I apologise if any of you are 17 year old boys. If you are, my goodness have you subscribed to the wrong blog feed. All the hot teenage wannabe-Goth chicks are on MySpace, and anyway they fancy Robert Pattinson (really no idea why, I'm with you on that one).
So here's the problem - I used to write this because it made me snigger in a frankly immature way. I am now my own worst critic; every time I start a blog entry I find my lip curling in what practised writers refer to as the "Sarcastic Bystander" way. The hint, apparently, to avoid taking yourself too seriously, is to imagine everything you write being read aloud by a sarcastic bystander: "Lolita, my light, my life, my sin, my soul... seriously Vlad, you fancy yourself a bit with the poncey alliteration, don't you?"
ANYway. Upshot is I have decided not to be such a prat about blogging. I will do this more often. Even if I sneer at myself as I do it. Possibly I will (in the manner of Stella Gibbons putting asterisks next to the prose passages she was most proud of in Cold Comfort Farm) highlight selected blog entries with "well, it made me laugh, anyway". Or just do a David Sedaris and actually be funny...
11 comments:
Funny/not funny?....s'all good...welcome back.
I'm still here. I cannot say whether you will be gladdened by that news.
Oh I'm reading Dress your family in cordoroy and denim right now! Was just wondering if I could write Sedaris-style... I'm sure you could, we've both got enough material there eh?
Kxxx
can't remember my password, still got the gypsies!
Dear Lucy, you couldn't write a humourless blog posts! Lovely to have you back xx
Existential crisis, egh? No fear, dearie. Just put your lovely head down, pour yourself something refreshing, light a cig and noodle away. Remember, "other people are over-rated."
Sending waves of supportive, loving encouragement to compensate for my own abiding sense of uselessness, I remain
Your most ardent admirer,
Usedbuyer2.0
Libby - thank you! Too long away.
Vicus - I find that sinister, but in a good way. If such a state of mind can be readily envisaged.
K - MANTUA MAKER how many times!! Tchuh. You're in the sidebar, you know. And yes, I think certain members of your family would benefit from the Sedaris treatment.
Christina - thank you, will try not to leave it so long!
Usedbuyer - I feel warmed and reassured! Thank you so much.
This is all very confusing. Comment moderation sounds good though (but I bet it takes you flippin' ages to get round to the moderating thing).
Anyway, the important thing is not to worry about how it all comes out. Or, if you do, confine the blogging to late night weekends when, judging by your tweets, you're that little bit more 'relaxed'.
It's all good though, and lovely to have you back.
Lovely, you are. Now, a question for my English friend in the books business: Can you tell me of any celebrations you may know of for Thackeray's birthday, in England? I've searched the interwebish world, but found nothing. Bookstores? Universities? Anything?
Much obliged.
Sarge - May take it off now I'm no longer receiving screeds of Chinese characters from people called "Cheap Ladys Shoes". Be honest, what you mean is BLOG DRUNK, which is actually a lot more fun.
Usedbuyer - I have sent out a plea on Twitter. I'm so net-friendly. Will let you know if anyone replies...!
Just stumbled across this because you mention 'Robertson Davies' in your list of favourite books. And then I see both a reference to 'Pirates of Penzance' AND Cold Comfort Farm. How could I not follow this blog?
Ben - thank you and welcome! Stick around and I'll mention Hal Hartley, John Crowley, and Ulysses 31.
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