Saturday, 31 January 2009

me me me me me me me me meme

The lovely Red Rum ("Your money's no good here, Mr Torrance...") has tagged me. I must write ten interesting and honest things about myself. "Interesting" is subjective, "honest" less so. This will probably be the last one of these I do for a while, as you all now know me better than is entirely healthy, given that we've none of us ever met in what I like to call "the flesh" (mostly because there's so much of it).

1) I've just this second sold a book to the blonde Aussie one from Sheila's Wheels. She was thoroughly charming and if I had a car I know where I'd be getting my insurance from.

2) I have only ever once made hollandaise sauce - it was perfect. I am now so worried that it'll never turn out that well again that I have never reattempted it.

3) I once shared a flat with an inordinately cool Zimbabwean guy called Dumiso; during the course of one rainy Sunday afternoon doing the ironing and watching Zulu we discovered that we were, respectively, descended from Gonville Bromhead and King Cetshwayo. We decided never to speak of it, although whistling "Men of Harlech" became shorthand for "I'm trying to annoy you".


4) I will eat anything except tripe (I hate the consistency), brains (not sure I like the idea of eating something that has ideas) and andouillette (made of bowel, smells of bowel). In my defence, I'm not particularly squeamish otherwise - I will happily eat kidneys, tongue, sweetbreads, black pudding, snails, etc, and in my time have eaten crocodile steak, water buffalo, snake, peacock, a scorpion, and a bee (on purpose, crystallised in honey).


5) I went on an anti-Vietnam War march in 1972 or -3; I was a small child at this point (!) and my deeply peacenik Canadian babysitter took me (I grew up in Montreal). At the age of 6 I knew who Nixon and Ho Chi Minh were, what "impeach" meant, and why there were so many American men suddenly living in Canada...

6) Further to the Canada thing, I was also living there when the October Crisis happened - so am the only one of my contemporaries who has, albeit briefly, lived under martial law.

7) I would sell my soul for the ability to drink a double espresso after midday without turning into a sleepless and jittery speedfreak. I love coffee, love it, love it, and it has ceased to love me since the day I turned 30, fickle swine that it is.

8) My family motto is Nil Desperandum. Which is a toughie to live up to on a drizzly day like today. Mostly I'm an optimist though.

9) I collect nice shiny facts like a magpie collects sparkly bits of tinfoil. In fact if I lived in Philip Pullman's world my daemon would undoubtedly be a member of the corvid family - maybe a rook, because they're sociable, highly acquisitive, and according to myth they like to tell stories.

10) My idea of perfect hell is massage. If there's one thing I hate more than being covered in oil, it's having to make polite conversation with a complete stranger while naked.

I'm going to tag Naweed, because I know for a fact he's never done one of these. Go, dude, make me proud...

14 comments:

mantua maker said...

Didn't your mother once serve up tripe - but called it "squid"? I remember you weren't fooled for a moment.

Lucy Fishwife said...

God she did too. What a good memory you have, my dear! The daft thing is, if she'd told me it was tripe and dared me to eat it, I probably would have done!

French Fancy said...

How did this post sneak past my eagle (yeh, right) short-sighted eyes? I mean you are clamped to the side of my blog, I must have just been a bit blind.

Andouillette is the food of the devil - I cannot believe you can get it past your lips. The smell alone makes me gag. You're a strong woman, fishwife.

Lucy Fishwife said...

I think it posted with the date I started editing it! Will have to remember in future to check post date rather than edit date. Andouillette is definitely a no-no! No matter how long they cook it for it still smells of sewage.

Steve said...

You've met the blonde from Sheila's Wheels and you watch "Zulu".

You is just too cool!

Brother Tobias said...

I'm impressed by the Gonville Bromhead connection. Did you grow up chucking assegais borrowed from the hall into the front lawn?
As for Nil Desperandum, there are so many. Simpson? Adams? Nevin? Walker? Yes, my money's on Walker...

mantua maker said...

At least yours has a bit of oomph. Ours is "Neither rashly nor timidly" - very middle of the road.

Reluctant Blogger said...

Whenever I see the name Red Rum it reminds me of the boil that burst on my cat's bum. I had just proudly finished a Red Rum jigsaw puzzle and went to fetch my mother to show her and the cat strolled past and its boil burst all over my puzzle and ruined it.

You are so cool. I wish I could be cool like you. I don't eat tripe either - but otherwise will eat almost everything. I can drink coffee up till 6pm but not after - not even chocolate after 6pm if I want to sleep.

I can't make any sauces - I am a crap cook.

These Aussie wines do go down very nicely. I've been buying clean skins as they are cheap but really good.

Eryl Shields said...

I have the same coffee problem, love it but have to have swallowed my last mouthful ten hours before I want to sleep. And the older I get the longer the gap needs to be, it'll be forty eight hours soon and I'll be f***ed.

Lucy Fishwife said...

Steve - And I can make hollandaise sauce! But not until Commissioner Gordon switches on the Fish-Signal and tells me it's necessary to save Gotham City.

BT - I'm actually slightly scared now. Your money is duly doubled. Either we're related or you're psychic.

MM - Yes but when did anyone ever live up to their family motto? I was at college with a girl who claimed her family motto was something along the lines of "Touch not lest ye be slain" (or similar) and she was a total slapper.

RB - Luckily I had just eaten before reading your comment. Cat's bum boil possibly another thing I may not be daring enough to eat. I am, however, NOT COOL AT ALL (but flattered).. as we speak I am wearing pyjamas and crocheting a handbag. How's Oz? Is their cheese up to scratch?

Eryl - Espressos double my hangovers too - something to do with the dehydrating powers of caffeine. Damn and blast it. I still persist in drinking them because the day I give in to decaf will be the day they prise the percolator from my cold dead hand.

Lucy Fishwife said...

Does anyone know what's happened to Red Rum?

Cassandra said...

Love the magpie thing. I have reinvented myself, Lucy F, to protect the privacy of the rest of the Rums. I am now Cassandra. Hope to see you at my new place.

Lucy Fishwife said...

Phew! Although given how very difficult it is to get Blogger to delete a blog, I thought it had to be self-imposed. Welcome back!

lakeviewer said...

Where have you been? Why did we not run into each other before?

I'm staying for all your parties from now on, unless you kick me out. I swear, I can be polite and helpful. I'll do the cooking, the cleaning.