I come from a family to whom second languages are a breeze, and often third/fourth languages (if you count Swiss-German/French dialect as a language and not just a dialect). I will just say here that my pathetic contribution is French, and that's it. I once had a lengthy conversation while Interrailing, sitting outside the umpteenth cathedral I refused to go into, with a charming ancient Italian bloke in my A-level Spanish. We understood each other perfectly. It helped that the girls and I had had some wine at lunch, also that he was slightly deaf. And at the point where it turned out he was trying to set me up with his son (not present) I feigned a sudden lack of interpretation skills.
Having a facility for languages, however, is actually no help at all in the world of bookselling. Many customers, and this is not at all a criticism, don't know how to pronounce the names of foreign writers, and frankly nor do we most of the time. I know in theory that Houellebecq is pronounced Wellbeck, but prefer to pronounce it Ooouelleblablablabecque. Ditto with Chuck Palahniuk, who is now officially Plalalalalalaniacccchhh. Or maybe it's easiest to say "It's in paperback fiction under H. Just before Elizabeth Jane Howard." - all of which brings back to me the early days of Salman Rushdie's fatwah, and how suddenly it was The Done Thing on the BBC news to refer to him as SoolmAAhn RooshdEE.
Certain words are also a minefield - I mean we all know in theory how to say "genre" but tend not to, as you end up sounding like a Saatchi underling trying to sell Tracey Emin's used pants to an awestruck art novice. Especially if you add the unforgiveable word "oeuvre" which, if not considerately and inclusively pronounced "hoover", marks you out as so pretentious you need shooting. I love Nabokov (sorry), and wouldn't dream of saying "oeuvre" about his body of work.
We recently invented some incorrect pronunciations (it was a quiet afternoon) for use on the more studiedly poncey customer : my personal favourite was Alain-Benet (to be pronounced like JonBenet), although he was run a close second by Dan Brun and Jean Greeshamm.
Having a facility for languages, however, is actually no help at all in the world of bookselling. Many customers, and this is not at all a criticism, don't know how to pronounce the names of foreign writers, and frankly nor do we most of the time. I know in theory that Houellebecq is pronounced Wellbeck, but prefer to pronounce it Ooouelleblablablabecque. Ditto with Chuck Palahniuk, who is now officially Plalalalalalaniacccchhh. Or maybe it's easiest to say "It's in paperback fiction under H. Just before Elizabeth Jane Howard." - all of which brings back to me the early days of Salman Rushdie's fatwah, and how suddenly it was The Done Thing on the BBC news to refer to him as SoolmAAhn RooshdEE.
Certain words are also a minefield - I mean we all know in theory how to say "genre" but tend not to, as you end up sounding like a Saatchi underling trying to sell Tracey Emin's used pants to an awestruck art novice. Especially if you add the unforgiveable word "oeuvre" which, if not considerately and inclusively pronounced "hoover", marks you out as so pretentious you need shooting. I love Nabokov (sorry), and wouldn't dream of saying "oeuvre" about his body of work.
We recently invented some incorrect pronunciations (it was a quiet afternoon) for use on the more studiedly poncey customer : my personal favourite was Alain-Benet (to be pronounced like JonBenet), although he was run a close second by Dan Brun and Jean Greeshamm.
10 comments:
"Ooouelleblablablabecque"--priceless!
I love Nabokov as well.
Not quite to topic, but too precious not to share: An elderly customer on the phone recently was looking at an Xmas list provided her by her adult son. He particularly wanted a book titled "The Luminous Monkey." After some work, I discovered that what he wanted was a new biography of Thelonious Monk. Right up there was the surly teenager who came in to find an assigned Hemingway, which said teenager referred to as "Oh Man, The Sea."
Kate - You wait till you hear us doing our worst to Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie.
Mwa - Have you read "The Original Of Laura" yet? Not sure I want to. Know I'll have to.
Usedbuyer - I LOVE "Oh Man, the Sea". It's up there with "The Little Tart, by Donna Friend". Or "English Analogy", which turned out after some investigation to be "England: An Elegy"...
You say NAbokov and I say NaBOkov; let's call the whole thing off!
You should hear me mangle the names of French perfumes. ;-)
Aparatchick - I used to work with a Polish girl who thought it was hilarious how everyone in W Europe insisted on pronouncing Nabokov with the emphasis on the 1st syllable.
I too have mangled perfume names - although not as badly as a (male, obv) friend who asked me what perfume I was wearing and when I replied "Eau Dynamisante" said in horror "Eau de Nanny's Armpit?????" ...
It's Paula-Nick. That's how I remember it.
It's Dean Koontz I always have a problem with.
Rol - I've got strangely addicted to Plalalaalalalalaneeurkh. But thank you, that's the first time anybody's actually told me how it really should be pronounced. But honestly, Dean Koontz - wouldn't you change your name if you were him? Especially if your books were likely to be sold in the north of England? We used to have a Frequent Flyer in my airline days called Dr Fuck (yes, really). He was from Luxembourg. When they did tannoy announcements to get him to board there was always a note saying "PLEASE PRONOUNCE THIS NAME FOOK".
I worked for a Dutch company once and a guy from Amsterdam whose surname was "van Fucht" came to work over here - he just thought it was hilarious that everybody got his name wrong.
MM - I once booked a flight for some poor Greek guy whose travel agent was adamant that his name was Hairstyle. I loved it. i wanted to re-name myself Mrs Hairstyle. Sadly it turned out it was Haristylou (or nearest offer). Shame.
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